343 possible tacos · 1 tortilla · 0 supervision

We put dinner
in a tortilla.

A slot machine that dispenses Thanksgiving tacos. Legally, we cannot call it food. Spiritually, it is the only food.

🎰 TAKE ME TO THE MACHINE * the machine accepts no money. it runs on whatever's in the walls.

🚨 THE SLOT-O-STUFFING 3000™ 🚨

Pull the lever. Receive taco. Complain to the tortilla.

SLOT-O-STUFFING 3000™
MEAT(ISH)
SIDES
CHAOS
INSERT DIGNITY

INSERT DIGNITY TO PLAY · JACKPOT PAYS IN FLAVOR

0 tacos dispensed on this device (yes, we're watching)

Money-back guarantee: $5.00 $0.00 · Odds of liking your taco: 87% (made up) · House always wins (the house is gravy)

💬 WHAT THE PEOPLE (ARE FORCED TO) SAY

★★★★★

"I pulled the lever and got pumpkin pie on a drumstick. I'm not okay, but I'm better."

— Darlene, 41

★☆☆☆☆

"The machine dispensed a taco and my marriage. Five stars for the taco though."

— Greg, probably fine

★★★★★

"I ate seven. I am seven."

— Aunt Carol (verified relative)

★★★★☆

"Wanted gravy. Got soup. Four stars because the soup was also good."

— @tacoboutit

❓ FREQUENTLY AYED QUESTIONS

Is this AI slop?

no

Is this a real restaurant?

There's a kitchen, technically. The health inspector has not been notified and we'd like to keep it that way.

Why does the machine exist?

The real question is why YOU exist, but sure: because gravy doesn't fit in a bowl and a bowl doesn't fit in a tortilla and a tortilla fits in everything.

Can I order just tortillas?

That's a wrap. 🎤⬇️

Do you have a gluten-free option?

The machine contains 0% gluten-free opinions. The tortilla is the whole point. We will not be taking questions.

Is the turkey real?

He prefers "emotionally available."

Are you okay?

We're gravy, baby.

What are the odds on the machine?

Excellent. Unbelievable, even. The reels are random-ish, the prizes are hypothetical, and the jackpot is a feeling.